The seeds of doubt (173 of 365)

Day 173 of the 365 day poem challenge.

Word of the day staid meaning: "

characterized by dignity and propriety."

The seeds of doubt 

I missed her and all her dreams 

I thought I knew her

Then her image splayed across Facebook and Twitter

This woman obese on drink and food and laughter

So casually her hands splayed against other women and men's chests

It was an internal loss of motion

An internal slam of a train into my skull 

Lack of comprehension sensation

Do you know what it is to be numb?

To question reality?

I was part of a something and 

It was all a lie

So I sank down lying on my bed feeling the blankets Crimson fold over me and into me

Pushing me down wrapping around my neck 

Snaking over my legs and tying me done and breaking my bones

I looked up at the spinning fan cycling around but there was no staid piece 

From the dizzying laughter and phantoms of her drunk and dancing

About an invisible pole in my mind

And she was slipping downward out of sight becoming a shade and all that I knew was slipping out of my grasp and out of comprehension.