I lost my patience (189 of 365)

Day 189 of the 365 day poem challenge.

Word of the day tirade meaning "

a speech of violent denunciation."

I lost my patience

I arrived and the papers were astray

I arrived and nothing was going my way

I arrived and nasal voices blasted complaints into my ears: why, what will you do about it

My plaintiff reply nothing - (my thought I should do nothing but end this call)

I lost my patience in the blazing heat

I lost my patience in my lack of sleep on sweat stained sheets

I lost my patience at insistence and questions with out end

I lost my patient when the carpet was yanked out from under me

I lost my patience by the sea

As a mother screamed for her girl to return (she was insane but nonetheless)

I lost my patience in a gaggling mob of enthusiasm

Which made me question mine

I lost my patience as the laughter and talk overflowed into my hours of prepared presentation 

I lost my patience when I went to the grocery store and wandered dehydrated and confused (a burger was not the right choice for my throat at the time)

I didn't have any left to bear your criticism with humility and dignity

So I fought

I launched into a deliberate tirade 

I fought because I had lost so many battles and I was humiliated and because I felt useless and deflated

And because with you I could fight and I could be angry 

But I lost my patience with that too

Now that the smoke has cleared

I wished I had given you my patience all of it

...its too late now though 

I can only hope and wish and pray

That perhaps at the end of the day

It will replenish that we will wear another day 

That this can be put behind 

And you'll then have what was denied.