Anyway the earlier version of what I'm going to share is what I gave them. Now this poem runs for several pages, my original idea was a rant on Self-Help books. In the end I reshaped it and made it look like several smaller poems in a "book". I thought this might make it a bit better, I'll admit it's a bit different and I understand what's going on here, but it's quite an odd little poem, which is why I thought I'd share it. It was created in the same spirit of creativity as Jolly One-Click Shoe Hero and it is an example of the extent of what you can do in poetry, although Next year I intend to start showing you all some truly strange and wonderful poets and poems and perhaps have a gamble of my own. Anyway here it is from the Vaults, All You Lost Souls (each title represents a new page).
ALL YOU LOST SOULS
THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER
I looked up...but no voice responded
Anonymous
Perhaps I should consult my horoscope...
The Inquirer$
(I)Ac(know)ledge(me)nts
For all of you Anthony Robbinses,
sexperts,
relationship handymen
and radio doctors
and all of you Jubilant Alternative Zany Zealous Youths in your various fields
that have helped us all gain such a great insight into the human psyche.
Why without you all studying that big lump of grey matter we might all be walking blind. Now we have the power, testify! Unlike those religious gods of old you have saved us. No please! I need to finish you have saved me and so many of my friends.
The Power of N(H)ow(?)
I can right now, I can!
It’s all in the knowing, the feeling.
Now how did you apply that formula again?
This Time
MayBe Bullet
Proof
the ballad
of the overly optimistic
radio doc
Hi I want to sue
I think you got the wrong place
buddy this is a radio station
Isn’t this where you report rape?
<laughs> you’re a comedian huh.
No just a specialist in sarcasm
Well after all who needs a Phd these days...
<laughs>
...caller line 2
Your show sucks
<laughs> (sure thing kid)
Emotional rape your honour
It’s Called a Law-Suit cos it’s
Broken (and all that jazz)
Emotional rape your honour
As he explained the facts I began to get suspicious.
“All we care about is love.”
That and the wad of bills in your wallets.
“...And they promised, promised, they promised I would be the best...I could be? It’s just not fair, I’m still only waiting bars, scraping plates and don’t get me started on those drunk bastards on Thursdays.”
Listen buddy, we never said you would, only that you could.
“Maybe that should be the title of your next book, ass hole!”
i looked up.
it was my turn after this amazing display of etiquette
grace and need I say common-sensical-babble:
“I suppose it’s my turn to ramble then?
now let me see emotional rape
can you quantify those damages...
Now for you, come here.
Thatta boy.
A good slap on the wrist for you.
Well off you go then!”
Chicken soup for (you) the soul(s)
Hey I just got an idea
Yeah?
The ‘Smile-Diet’ reckon I could get 200 pages on it
There’s never too many smiles
“Ever find yourself searching for that smiling stranger. Wouldn’t it be nice to stare across a crowded street and feel that connection not just those cold eyes. Well why wait at all. After learning the seven symptoms of the Rainy Day we will start to integrate the ‘Smile-Diet’ in order to avoid these shades of grayness so common in everyday life.
But first a question? Why are you waiting for the world to smile for you?
Get up right now flick to page two and start smiling, your Smile-Diet has begun.”
What it
said on Page 2
“I read a book recently and you know it was funny, it said right at the end. Everything up to this point is theory. I nearly laughed you know, like actually laughed out loud. It then went on mind you”
forget everything,
every line,
every syllable,
every word,
every symbol.
I will be frustrated if I’m not seeing the sides of the trash can.
I loved this! I found the alternative forms, direct speech and even the format really refreshing, engaging, and evocative - it was like a link to something I could identify with.
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